Just one of those days

Waking up to a dark gloomy day.

What ever you say being interpreted the wrong way.

Having no choice but to resign to the hopelessness of it all.

Then finding the courage to have hope, however small.

Tell yourself 'it's just one of those days and move on.

Because there are more important things in life and it's time to grab on!

Ferber Method Alternative

Ok, so as many of my readers already know I gave up on the Ferber method. Maybe it was too strict, perhaps little R was just too stubborn or it might just be that I couldn't put up with the endless cries anymore. One reason or another (or all of them) it just wasn't for me.

Perhaps you are wondering now how little is doing at being put to sleep now, well I'm pretty proud to say that R has been falling asleep and staying asleep pretty well for well over 4-5 months!

My method is one that is simple and I find very gentle and comfortable for both R and I. It's a simple ritual that I repeat everyday and for every situation I have a set of steps that I take Riley through and usually without fail he can fall asleep without much or any fuss. Now I'm not saying this will work for everyone but if you are driven half nuts (like I was) then I think it's worth a go.

For naps
1. Close the blinds/curtains/doors so that the baby knows its time to nap.
2. Take off a layer of clothing so that he is comfortable sleeping (or put him into his pajamas)
3. Lay him on the bed with you with a light blanket over both you and him. If he is a bigger child and or refuses to stay laying down its ok to let him move about as long as it's on the bed.
4. Talk quietly to tell him that it's time to sleep, sing lullaby songs, stroke his hair, massage him or just caress him until he falls asleep. I find putting R's little hand under my cheek helps to settle him. It may take anything from 2-60 minutes before he falls asleep, don't get discouraged if it doesn't work in the beginning just be patient eventually the serenity and the comforting fact that you are with him helps him to sooth and calm himself into sleep.

Night
1. I always try to have a bath with at every night and I find that the longer the time in the bath tub the better R is at falling asleep.
2. After bath, dry him and dress him in his pajamas. I would offer either breastmilk or formula or a sip of water (what ever you usually offer before bedtime).
3. This part is pretty much the same as nap time, basically both in the blanket and sooth baby with you voice and touch.

I would, after R is asleep put him in his cot (as we sleep on a double bed) and cover the sides of the cot with towels so that the light will not wake him up too early in the morning.

This of course only works when
1. He's taken enough calories during the day to not wake up at night hungry.
2. He has had a good rest during the day too, too tired or over rested babies will be harder to put to sleep and stay asleep.

Of course there are still days where he may refuse to sleep for up to an hour on this method or wake up more than once at night but those days are really a rarity and I just put it to either teething, growth spurt, too much or too little sleep during the day or it just being one of those days.

The precious seconds of our day

Like most mums, I have a pretty busy day that mainly revolves around my son. It's pretty wonderful. I get to wake up to his beautiful voice (usually muttering a variation of da, ma, ba or ga) and spend an eventful adventurous silly day with him then be the last person to kiss him on his forehead as he dozes off into never never land. I do sometimes suffer the fated amnesia day when the day has gone by so quickly with such frenzy that I forget what (else) has happened. Recently I watched this video on Ted.com where Cesar Kuriyama's speech on how capturing one second of his everyday on video helped him to not only remember but appreciate the things in his life, has inspired me to do something similar, for R and perhaps more importantly for myself.

I've decided to tweek it so that instead of taking a video, I feel a photograph of a certain time of day eg 4:15pm, would be a good way to capture some essence of our days together.

Here is the video of Kuriyama, and by seeing it I hope you are also inspired to appreciate the beauty of your everyday life.

http://www.ted.com/talks/cesar_kuriyama_one_second_every_day.html

Long time no see!

It seems like it's been forever since I've posted and honestly this blog has always been on the back of my mind but realistically a couple of things happened on the last 6 months that have put a real hinder on my little project.

First of all I moved to Japan! Obviously the move itself was hectic and stressful but on top of that with an 8 month baby and suddenly without the help of my parents was almost a logistic nightmare. I'm glad I made it without too many breakdowns.

Second, adjusting and living in Japan was also a challenge, culturally and linguistically there were some difficulties not to mention the social and everyday aspects of life wasn't as easy as I thought it would have been.

Finally and this one was a surprise to myself also, was the change of my role from a mother to a mother and wife again. Not sure if many of my reader are know but my my husband went to Japan first without R and I, to set up and begin his studies (the reason why we are in Japan). And during those months with him gone I only needed to concern myself with looking after my little R, but now 5 months later, reunited, I was once again the doting wife again and it was not about the cooking and cleaning that came with the role that concerned me, but rather the 'chemistry' between a couple. What to say, when to say it, how to say it, what to do, when, how... It felt like our marriage was sudden thrown into blender and everything got mashed up together and it was up to us to once again try to piece together how we 'lived' with each other, and with R.

Anyway I will talk more about these and other interesting life experiences in detail, later, but for now, 'hi again my old friends, it's been too long...'