Ferber Method Alternative

Ok, so as many of my readers already know I gave up on the Ferber method. Maybe it was too strict, perhaps little R was just too stubborn or it might just be that I couldn't put up with the endless cries anymore. One reason or another (or all of them) it just wasn't for me.

Perhaps you are wondering now how little is doing at being put to sleep now, well I'm pretty proud to say that R has been falling asleep and staying asleep pretty well for well over 4-5 months!

My method is one that is simple and I find very gentle and comfortable for both R and I. It's a simple ritual that I repeat everyday and for every situation I have a set of steps that I take Riley through and usually without fail he can fall asleep without much or any fuss. Now I'm not saying this will work for everyone but if you are driven half nuts (like I was) then I think it's worth a go.

For naps
1. Close the blinds/curtains/doors so that the baby knows its time to nap.
2. Take off a layer of clothing so that he is comfortable sleeping (or put him into his pajamas)
3. Lay him on the bed with you with a light blanket over both you and him. If he is a bigger child and or refuses to stay laying down its ok to let him move about as long as it's on the bed.
4. Talk quietly to tell him that it's time to sleep, sing lullaby songs, stroke his hair, massage him or just caress him until he falls asleep. I find putting R's little hand under my cheek helps to settle him. It may take anything from 2-60 minutes before he falls asleep, don't get discouraged if it doesn't work in the beginning just be patient eventually the serenity and the comforting fact that you are with him helps him to sooth and calm himself into sleep.

Night
1. I always try to have a bath with at every night and I find that the longer the time in the bath tub the better R is at falling asleep.
2. After bath, dry him and dress him in his pajamas. I would offer either breastmilk or formula or a sip of water (what ever you usually offer before bedtime).
3. This part is pretty much the same as nap time, basically both in the blanket and sooth baby with you voice and touch.

I would, after R is asleep put him in his cot (as we sleep on a double bed) and cover the sides of the cot with towels so that the light will not wake him up too early in the morning.

This of course only works when
1. He's taken enough calories during the day to not wake up at night hungry.
2. He has had a good rest during the day too, too tired or over rested babies will be harder to put to sleep and stay asleep.

Of course there are still days where he may refuse to sleep for up to an hour on this method or wake up more than once at night but those days are really a rarity and I just put it to either teething, growth spurt, too much or too little sleep during the day or it just being one of those days.

The precious seconds of our day

Like most mums, I have a pretty busy day that mainly revolves around my son. It's pretty wonderful. I get to wake up to his beautiful voice (usually muttering a variation of da, ma, ba or ga) and spend an eventful adventurous silly day with him then be the last person to kiss him on his forehead as he dozes off into never never land. I do sometimes suffer the fated amnesia day when the day has gone by so quickly with such frenzy that I forget what (else) has happened. Recently I watched this video on Ted.com where Cesar Kuriyama's speech on how capturing one second of his everyday on video helped him to not only remember but appreciate the things in his life, has inspired me to do something similar, for R and perhaps more importantly for myself.

I've decided to tweek it so that instead of taking a video, I feel a photograph of a certain time of day eg 4:15pm, would be a good way to capture some essence of our days together.

Here is the video of Kuriyama, and by seeing it I hope you are also inspired to appreciate the beauty of your everyday life.

http://www.ted.com/talks/cesar_kuriyama_one_second_every_day.html

Long time no see!

It seems like it's been forever since I've posted and honestly this blog has always been on the back of my mind but realistically a couple of things happened on the last 6 months that have put a real hinder on my little project.

First of all I moved to Japan! Obviously the move itself was hectic and stressful but on top of that with an 8 month baby and suddenly without the help of my parents was almost a logistic nightmare. I'm glad I made it without too many breakdowns.

Second, adjusting and living in Japan was also a challenge, culturally and linguistically there were some difficulties not to mention the social and everyday aspects of life wasn't as easy as I thought it would have been.

Finally and this one was a surprise to myself also, was the change of my role from a mother to a mother and wife again. Not sure if many of my reader are know but my my husband went to Japan first without R and I, to set up and begin his studies (the reason why we are in Japan). And during those months with him gone I only needed to concern myself with looking after my little R, but now 5 months later, reunited, I was once again the doting wife again and it was not about the cooking and cleaning that came with the role that concerned me, but rather the 'chemistry' between a couple. What to say, when to say it, how to say it, what to do, when, how... It felt like our marriage was sudden thrown into blender and everything got mashed up together and it was up to us to once again try to piece together how we 'lived' with each other, and with R.

Anyway I will talk more about these and other interesting life experiences in detail, later, but for now, 'hi again my old friends, it's been too long...'

Favluv - Luv it!

Writing has sort of become a passion lately.

Ever since I realized that being a milk maid and house maid had made me more a hag than a maid.

And like an answered prayer, my lovely friend proposed an an intriguing and very exciting idea - contributing articles to her fabulous website Favluv (www.favluv.com). An ingenious website that offers readers top three selling products in a number of categories. I have been given the task of researching and writing about fashion and baby products for those of you who are interested.

Writing for Favluv is very different from writing my blog in one major area, and that is my word actually count for something other than entertainment. The idea that someone will be reading what I write and possibly making a purchase based upon my research and recommendation is sort of a big deal, well for me anyway.

Like everything else in this world, with great responsibility comes great self satisfaction. A few hours each week perfecting my articles have made some sort of perfectionist again. I read and re-read my writing like a maniac before submissions and ever since I had a rather heart breaking review lately, it has made paranoid on the quality of each piece.

I'm grateful for the opportunity that was given to me because although I love, love, love being a mother, having another job title is also very fulfilling in its own way.

Simple pleasures

Although I was never much of an adventure seeker before I became a human milk bottle, now that I have a bubba permanently attached, I have found that life's little guilty treasures often lay in the things and activities we take most for granted.

For example, today's moment came when I realized how precious it was to be able to enjoy a iced latte at my local Starbucks. Listening to the gentle jazz playing the background, watching the world go by, with the person I love most sitting next to me, is there anything else more beautiful on the earth.

Oops, the person I love most in the world just screamed on the top of his voice in a room full of people. Time to get back to reality.

Ch-ch-ch-changes

I was asked today by a friend whether I think I have changed since I became a mother and it really made me think. I guess my initial response was yes, my ass is bigger and I'm leaking fluid out of my boobs every few hours, but beyond the physical stuff, deep down, was I still the same girl (woman?) I was before bebe?

I guess a part of me wanted to hang onto my old self, the careless, selfish and ignorant me whose sole purpose in life was do things that made me happy. I remember my all time favorite motto was that 'my happiness trumps the happiness of everyone else, because if I am not happy, how can I make others happy?'. This suited me so well because it gave me an excuse to be completely and utterly devoted to me, myself and I. Everything I did revolved around this one principle.

Today however, is a different story, because that motto I held onto so defiantly no longer truly and completely reflected who I was. It simply wasn't enough.

It is inevitable that the arrival of an procreation will impact even the most slightest part of anyone's life. My priorities have been reorganized dramatically, my interests have made a shift towards new grounds and my perspectives in life and on life have also  evolved.

But does this mean that I have changed? Or was I always this person, but simply have not been given the opportunity to be her?  Do we really change as a person or do circumstances and situations bring out different aspects of ourselves that we never knew we had?

Perhaps whenever we reach a different stage in life, whether it's the big things like moving out, getting married, or having kids, or smaller things like making a new friend or visiting a new country, they all accumulate and nourish our inner being so that ourselves become like a tree branching out into the infinite sky.  In this way, we never truly change, but become a more dynamic, evolved version of our previous self?

Or maybe Bowie had it right all along, time may change me, but I can't trace time...

Roseo-what?

Roseola is a common viral infection that affection children from 6 months to 2 years old.  Its most common symptom is the sudden onset of a high-grade fever (38-40 degrees celcius or 101-104 fareheiht) followed by little pink spots on the body (usually a sign the fever has disappeared).  The child may not display any other symptoms except mild cases of diarrhea, lack of appetite, nose or throat congestion, lethargy.

I, of course knew nothing of this until this morning when I suddenly found little R heating up (38.7 C) and took him to the pediatricians office.  It was so sudden that it nearly knocked me off my feet, one moment he seemed to be happy playing, next moment when I gave him a kiss his forehead was like an hot pan.  Luckily he seemed to be in good spirits apart from the fact that he was a little fussy and was fighting sleep.

At the Peds office, I was told that the initial diagnosis was that he is displaying signs of Roseola, as he seemed completely healthy in other respects, no signs of stomach upsets, respiratory organs seems normal and no ear infections.  Although, the doc warned, with Roseola, you never really know that you have it until the little spot appear, so I still have to keep an eye out for him, there is a mean case of stomach flu going around in Taiwan lately.

So back at home I gave him some doctor prescribed Ibuprofen to reduce his fever - worked pretty well within 30 minutes his fever came down to 37.6 C although his appetite seems completely gone.  Unhappy to even drink a sip of water, I decided to run to the supermarket and buy some organic carrots and cook it in water and see if he will take the carrot water ( a nice tip from my dear friend and fellow mama).

Back at home tiredness has set in again and the fussiness seems prolonged compared to usual but at last, little R is asleep, will check his temperature again and see how he goes.

Update 1

R's temperature remained around the high 37s to low 38s and by 5pm I decided to give him another dose of Ibuprofen to make him feel better as he was starting to heat up again, the medicine works really fast within about 30-40 minutes he was at the lower 37 degrees and starting to laugh and yell like his old self again.  His appetite was still none existent, an attempt to feed him breast milk by bottle or carrot water was met with an unhappy baby.  Luckily his hunger strike ended at around 6:45 when I nursed him directly and the hungry baby drank for a good 5 minutes.  I have read on other mothering forums that   have commented on how babies prefer to be nursed directly when down with Roseola, so that could be the case.  Another interesting find was that mothers found babies to be more sleepy than usual, which also seem to be the case with R.  Although tempted by an extra sleepy baby to sleep more, I doubt I would be getting much snooze time tonight as I will be checking R's temperature feverishly (bittersweet use of my pun).

Update 2

Wow last night was a night I will never forget. I set the alarm for 12 and then every 2 hour intervals so that I can get up and take R's temperature. Apparently when a child's body temperature gets too high it caused them to have seizures, and while these seizures are not dangerous, I am not keen on witnessing my little darling convulse and then blank out for 2-3 minutes without any sign of life.

At 12 midnight I woke up to my vibrating alarm to find that R's temperature has reached a whopping 40.1 degrees Celsius, panicking I read the notice I got from my docs office which advised me to give him his rectal medication, but only 2/3s. I roughly cut the waxy tablet into the right dose with my fingers and wondered how I would now proceed with the insertion part of the medicinal administration. Hesitantly I removed R's diaper and realized that perhaps my best chance of getting this done right was to do it quickly while he is still drifting in and out of sleep. So off with his diaper and in the waxy tablet went up his little bottom. Except that that waxy tablet would somehow glide back out again according to his breathing, in and out and in... By this time R has woken from his sleep and has now turned and looked at his mummy with a quizzical 'what are you doing down there' look on his face. Unfazed I pushed the tablet in one last time, deep enough that it did not make an appearance again. I then quickly wrapped up his diaper and attempted to hydrate my little man by nursing him with the hope that he will be asleep by the end if the feed. No such luck. Awake and happy, completely unscathed by the enormous fever he's having, R is now completely aware and ready to play. I decided that perhaps I could use a cool wet towel to lower his temperature at least externally and found that although he was not a fan of the cold wetness, we was calmed by its presence against his hot skin.

The rest of the night followed with high fever temperatures of 39.7, 39.3 and finally back down to an acceptable rate of 38.6 degrees.

The morning came and brought with it a bout of runny poo, I was relieved at least some of the toxins are finding its way out if his system and tried to feed R carrot water with a bulb syringe, which he took happily once he realized its quite delicious.

It is now 2pm and temperatures are back down to 36.7 after another dose of ibuprofen at 9am. I have a sneaking feeling this is not the last I will see of the virus, but am glad at least it is controlled somewhat, for now.

Update 3

It's been 6 days from the initial onset of the illness and it seems little R has made at least a 95% recovery, his fever subsided on the third day, rather suddenly and almost immediately his rash appeared. We first noticed it in his back and bottom, but by the second day it had spread to parts of his face, neck and trunk. On the third day of his rash his face was covered by the little red spots, his neck, parts of his arm and his trunk was the worst affect areas, but I could already see that his back and bottom were no longer spot ridden. Today (the forth day) his face cleared up almost completely as well as his neck, there are still a few small red spots on his belly and trunk but otherwise R looks as good as he did before the virus.

His appetite is still not completely back to normal, refusing to have more than 100 ml of breast milk whereas he used to have 120-150 per feed but I am not too worried as he really didn't have much to eat the last few days so I wouldn't be surprised if his stomach has shrunk somewhat.

His energy level and jolly temperament is back, which is a relief, there is nothing worse than seeing your baby look all sick and sad - it's a feeling of helplessness that exhausts the mind and body ( I have 4 new pimples as war trophies from this ordeal).

So, 6 days, 5 restless nights and 700 grams of body weight lost later, we finally kicked Roseola's butt, and are glad to have this virus behind us. I know that one day, hopefully not too soon ahead, we will have to face another demon virus and go through this all over again, but for now, lets just enjoy the wonderful day ahead! cheers!