Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Terrible threes?

We all know of the terrible twos...

But what about the terrible threes?

Or even the fearful fours? 

When R was two my friends reassured me "Just hang in there! He will be easier when he's three!" And I am not sure if it was my naivity, ignorance or just pure wishful thinking, I believed them.  But now that R is three and a half I often find myself wondering if their reassurance was simply white lies to comfort an obviously distressed woman.

Truthfully certain things are easier per se, for example R can now fully understand my threats and acknowledge the full wrath of my frustration, he can now last longer through the day and can sometimes go the whole day without a nap which can be useful when we are on an outing, and we can now enjoy an array of interests together (in our family that means watching Star Wars and going to museums and exhibits together) so I guess in a way he's becoming more of a little person.

However, if we were being fully truthful I would have to relay to you that all the positive things we could do together is sometimes and even often canceled out by the negative side of each.  Remember all those things I mentioned earlier? Understanding my threats? He also realized they are often empty.  Feel my frustration? Playfully gets me to cheer up then presumes to do the exact thing that made me stressed out in the first place. Lasting longer through the day? Just makes the crash even more traumatic, and enjoying our interests together? Sometimes he will enjoy it too much and the story will not have a happy ending when he realizes we will not be watching Star Wars again tonight.

All these things and many more often seem trivial and totally unnecessary, but the longer the day, the more suicidal one becomes.

I wish I can say that the story ends well for us, but unfortunately for R and I our struggles continue everyday.  I guess it's as in life, nothing meaningful comes easily.  I often try to remind myself that what we accomplished together, the tantrums relieved, the fights resolved, the differences met half way and just realizing that whatever happens, family is family. And I love R, and he I, and whatever is ahead of us, the terrible threes, the fearful fours, we will make it through it together. 

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